And, 8 minutes before the deadline, here is my flash fiction piece for the first Campaign challenge! For a refresher, the challenge is:
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
- end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
- include the word "orange" in the story
- write in the same genre you normally write
- make your story 200 words exactly!
I started the story with "Shadows crept across the wall", included the word orange, my story's 200 words exactly and I sorta wrote in my usual genre. The only thing I didn't manage to fit in was ending the story with "everything faded". But I like my ending better.
I'm not sure that my entry went through on the linky list but I did list it in the comments. So, if it shows up (around entry #200 or so) please vote for me by liking it!
Edit: It's shown up as entry #209! Go here to vote!
Shadows crept across the wall and then back again.
“Not again. Dad!” Tyler threw the bedcovers off and pounded down the paneled hall. “Dad! The shadows are going backwards again.” He slid to a halt on his sock-covered feet in front of a large, closed door. A chink of blue-white light outlined his toes as he pounded on the wood.
“Dad, open up!”
Silence.
“Bet he’s asleep. Again.”
Tyler turned the door knob and pushed the heavy door open. For a moment the lit screen of a machine was all he could see. Then the shape slumped over the controls came into focus. Tyler approached the old man and swept back his long, white hair to reveal closed eyelids. He sighed. He pulled the man up and carried him to a bed hidden from the machine’s light. Gently, Tyler pulled a blanket over the man. He returned to the machine and studied the blue-white screen, then adjusted some of the settings. Finished, he stepped quietly out of the room and closed the door.
“I wonder if Dad’ll ever retire.”
Tyler slid back under the covers and glanced at the wall. Shadows crept across the wall, black and orange slivers intermingled.
Nicely done. I enjoyed reading this. You have been tagged.http://sivmaria.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteAt first, I expected the boy to be young so it was a bit of surprise when he was able to lift his dad into bed! I liked the fact that the shadows were 'going backwards'. Interesting twist! :)
ReplyDelete(Hi! I'm Susan from My Withershins. Sorry I have to use my alter-ego, but Blogspot does not seem to like it when we Wordpress folks want to comment on their sites!)
Eight minutes is cutting it close. But I'm glad you got in. I enjoyed this entry. It feels rather less contrived than others.
ReplyDeleteOoh very cool! Glad you were able to get your entry in!! Eight minutes is VERY close! Great job :)
ReplyDeleteI'm entry #19
I also thought the boy was young, so I was surprised when he lifted his Dad! But very nice all the same! Great job!
ReplyDeleteWell done!
ReplyDeleteThanks for r eading mine at number 181, a children's story;'don't eat my toes, ok?" Hope you liked it.
Nice writing. The description is so clear, I can see what is happening. Well done. (#112)
ReplyDeleteFun entry! I'm totally intrigued and want to know more!
ReplyDeleteI too want to know more, like what dear old dad is working on. Mine is #71
ReplyDeleteYep, I want to know more too. This is a great entry for the challenge.
ReplyDeleteNice entry. Very original. = )
ReplyDeleteI'm #149
melissamaygrove.blogspot.com
My entry's near the end of the list too - procrastinators unite! I really liked the idea of the shadows going backwards - that was fun!
ReplyDeleteI’ve been slow in making my rounds, but I’m saying howdy from the YA campaign group.
I'm with Jocelyn... just now getting around to all my #3 campaign friends. Enjoyed your FF piece.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed.
ReplyDeleteNice piece of writing! Well done!
ReplyDelete